IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that employers should give staff at least four weeks holiday per year to improve their job performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In recent times
vacation
Use synonyms
's duration is
sa
indefinite article, "an" is use before a vowel sound, "a" otherwise
a
so
 topic of a lot of discussions. While some people think
ths
denotes a person or thing
this
 period should
last
Linking Words
 at least four weeks, others
stronly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 disagree.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with the demand for monthly holiday as it both enables employees to stay motivated and cares about their health. The primary reason why
time
Use synonyms
 of rest should be at least four
week
Suggestion
weeks
 long is that it augments the
prodcutivity
the quality of being productive or having the power to produce
productivity
 of people. When
inviduals
a human being
individuals
 do not have a proper
vacation
Use synonyms
, they are being overworked and,
consequently
Linking Words
, less productive. If
this
Linking Words
 is a case, they are not able to provide any sufficient and reasonable solutions for the problems for companies, which they work for.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation can lead to professional burnout in the early age of
carrer
someone whose employment involves carrying something
carrier
career
.
As a result
Linking Words
, people in their middle age do not have any idea for their future professional life. Keeping in mind the employee's health is another factor which states for
longer
Suggestion
a longer vacation
longer vacations
vacation
Use synonyms
. Lack of proper
time
Use synonyms
 to
rest can
Accept comma addition
rest, can
 result not only in worse frame of
mind but
Accept comma addition
mind, but
 it may cause a mental disorder.
Additionally
Linking Words
, individuals often desire to keep work-life balance. Especially those, who have families crave for
longer
Suggestion
longer vacations
a longer vacation
vacation
Use synonyms
, because spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their children is the most effective method to
strentghten
make strong or stronger
strengthen
 a bond between parent and a child. The best example
for
Suggestion
of
 that statement is Germany. In
this
Linking Words
 country the duration of
vacation
Use synonyms
 is very short.
This
Linking Words
 factor is
stronly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 connected with the
unhapiness
emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
unhappiness
, which was revealed by a variety of surveys conducted on german people. To conclude, the period of
time
Use synonyms
 dedicated for
vacation
Use synonyms
 should
last
Linking Words
 at least four weeks, because it increases employee's productivity and have a positive impact on their frame of mind.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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