Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so.

#children #parents #part #time #job

It is becoming a trend nowadays for children doing a

part

time

job

in their leisure

time

and

this

phenomena

is supported

Suggestion

are supported

by the parents. Even though

this

activity brings beneficial effects for them, it can be followed by several drawbacks. In

this

era, young people need to be introduced to the real work life in early

time

to understand the efforts of earning

money

. By experiencing a

part

time

job

, children get the mindset that

money

comes along with an amount of energy to work on something so that they will be more grateful. The

second

advantage of doing

part

time

job

is children being more independent. It happens because the child feels the chance to obtain their own

money

and manage it by their own authority so that their independent side grows well. I take an example, my parents used to give me a pack of petty cash once in a

week

Accept comma addition

week, then

then

after I worked on a

part

time

job

, I could save

money

so that my parents could reduce their allowance for me. In other hand, children can feel exhausted because of their

part

time

job

so that they do not have enough

time

to study and rest. It can influence their concentration in the school.

For instance

, they spent their

time

to do their

job

for at least four to five hours after school,

then

they will go home at least at night and the

morning they will come to school at 07.30 or 08.00 so that it is common to find children being sleepy in their class.

In addition

, children can

loose

fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense

lose

their free

time

because they use it for doing a certain

job

. Overall, it can be good for children to experience the

part

time

job but

Accept comma addition

job, but

can

Suggestion

can also bring

also

brings any disadvantages.

Submitted by Marina Hardiyanti on Mon Jun 29 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
punctuality
work ethic
financial literacy
budgeting
time management
work experience
career prospects
independence
self-esteem
communication
interpersonal skills
academic responsibilities
school performance
hobbies
relaxation
well-being
stress
fatigue
premature adulthood
childhood experiences

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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so.

Fully explain your ideas

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?