IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In all around the world somebody believe, if great factories and companies change their location from
city
Use synonyms
 to
countryside
Use synonyms
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 and housing difficulty will be
solve
Suggestion
solved
. But there is not any proof to say that in hundred percent correct. Major of rush hours is for morning when people go to work and evening when they want to come back. So by changing the location, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 can transfer to
Use synonyms
countryside
Suggestion
the countryside
.
However
Linking Words
, there is advance public transportation in
city
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 of
countryside
Use synonyms
 and village. So people in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 are more have to use their own car than people in the
city
Use synonyms
In
Suggestion
On
 the other side, facilities, shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
,
tourism attraction
Accept comma addition
tourism, attraction
, parks and amusement Parks have the most powerful affective in
traffic
Use synonyms
 and housing problems.
For
Linking Words
example in
Suggestion
example, during
example during
 holidays there is a heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
 in the street. So these problems cannot completely depend on factories and companies and their employee. In spite of
this
Linking Words
 may be a fact that by reducing numbers of work's vehicle on
Use synonyms
city street
Suggestion
a city street
city streets
, a large percentage of
Use synonyms
traffic
Suggestion
the traffic
 will obviously decline, especially
in
Suggestion
during
 rush hours, because there are some person that prefer to use their own vehicle
instead
Linking Words
 of public transportation for their
comfortably
Suggestion
comfort
comforters
comforts
. In conclusion, I believe that the majority of the
city
Use synonyms
's problems as
traffic
Use synonyms
, housing, air pollution is not depend on factories and companies. There are other
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for it
such
Linking Words
 as shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, amusement parks and when every development
facilities
Suggestion
facility
concentrate
Suggestion
concentrates
is concentrated
 in
Use synonyms
city center
Suggestion
the city centre
city centre
; these problems are
consequence
Suggestion
a consequence
consequences
the consequence
 of that design.
Submitted by SaNia GouDaRZi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: