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Band 5.5

Employers should give longer holidays to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #job
Holidays are necessary every individual in order to reduce their stress and maintain energy level. It is commonly believed by many people that bosses should give extended vocations to their workforce to motivate them to do their
work
 efficiently. In my opinion, the productivity of every employee depends on different factors. Some people can be encouraged by prolonged holidays while others
work
 for monetary benefits.
To begin
 with, longer rest is essential to increase the activity of the office workers. Providing extended holidays improve their
work
-life balance and decrease stress level, because they will have quality time to spend with their family and friends and pay more attention to their health and well-being.
However
, giving prolonged holidays to employees may affect their
work
 schedule. After returning more than week holidays, employees cannot concentrate on their
work
 and it may take more time to get accustomed to their typical job.
On the other hand
, some employees can be inspired to
work
 well by financial advantages. To encourage them employers should create some incentive schemes from which that staff can take monetary advantages. They will have job satisfaction, if they get enough salary and annual increments.
In addition
, promoting employees who are excellent enough to secure a higher position
also
 plays a crucial role to improve their productivity. By
this
, office workers who have received promotion feel themselves more responsible to complete every task efficiently and on time. In conclusion, employers should provide their staff with not only extended holidays with cert
ain limitation
Accept comma addition
limitation, but
 but
also
 financial benefits and promot
i
in the direction of
to
on o maintain their interest in
work
Submitted by ann on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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