Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Children and teenagers in many of the world are doing crimes. There are many reasons that children and teenagers do that. In my point of view, there are two possibilities, they are doing that. There are many developing countries that have high rates
criminals
Suggestion
criminal's
criminals'
activities
by
Suggestion
with
children and teenagers
such
as India, China, Brazil, and Indonesia. The main possibility children and teenagers are doing the crimes because the fellow friends went the same activities. They often influenced by their friends and
also
the environment. Interestingly, in the part of the world that happens between children and teenagers
that is
conducting criminal activities are children and teenagers in developing countries. Many children and teenagers are not educated well, and
also
the economic conditions that force them to become rebels.
In contrast
, there are
also
laws that protect children and teenagers not allowed
into
Suggestion
in
jail
. It was a complicated problem a decade ago. The best option for children and teenagers that involved crimes
is
Suggestion
are
rehabilitations, but
also
there is an option for teenagers enter to the
jail
if the age has fulfilled the requirements.
For instance
, there were crimes in Indonesia that involved children in stolen motorcycles with his friend. The children were set free, and his friend enters the
jail
because the age already
fulfills
put in effect
fulfils
the law requirements. In my conclusion, if the there are children and teenagers are involved in criminal activities, it should be punished.
In addition
, the punishment
not enters
Suggestion
didn't enter
doesn't enter
the
jail
, but it will better to do social activity for 3 years as
example
Suggestion
an example
.
Submitted by Husein Indra Kusuma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: