Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #secondary-school #curriculum #activities #performance

A lot of people arguing about why some science subjects are worth learning than art-based subjects.

However

, there are so many different reasons why art should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. As per some educators, it can improve students' productivity in other subjects. I totally agree with

this

idea.

To begin

with, art can help soon

improved

Suggestion

improve

academic performance. Research about

this

topic in

Indonesia which

Accept comma addition

Indonesia, which

was carried out in 2012 showed that activities

such

as performing arts, theatrical, or painting

lead

Suggestion

leads

students to gain other achievements apart from academic accomplishments during their school life. Not surprisingly, the students who often turn up many arts performances get valuable experiences which quite different from serious learning activities that are only used to focusing on writing, reading, and counting skills.

As a result

, it will enhance their other abilities.

Secondly

, the world needs more inventors, artists, painters, performers, and musicians as much as doctors and engineers. Students who study in schools that do not have

such

subjects tend to develop a narrow view of the world.

On the other hand

, students who are exposed to arts tend to have a broader view of the world.

In addition

, when we have art-based lessons at secondary school, we can find early talented students, orientate, and develop their skills. To sum up, art-based educations must be compulsory and can greatly add value to secondary education as well as the career prospects of young graduates.

Submitted by Hai My on Fri Jul 10 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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