IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face.

#people #e #g #chat #friends
it
Suggestion
It
 has been observed for
last
 a few years people do not love to
meeting
Suggestion
meet
to
Suggestion
with
 each other and communicate with their friends
face
 to
face
,
Accept space
,
 that attitude noticeable recently by people
.
Accept space
.
for
Suggestion
For
 instance
,
Accept space
,
 I see a lot of individuals isolated themselves at their home due they felt confident with
loness
a formation of people or things one beside another
lines
 at home
.
Accept space
.
that
Suggestion
That
 negative situation came from spending most times on social media applications as Facebook -
Whatcab
Suggestion
What cab
 -Snapchat - Instagram
,
Accept space
,
 there are many applications to stealing people's times without feel that
.
Accept space
.
in
Suggestion
In
 the recent years people
feels
Suggestion
feel
nurvous
easily agitated
nervous
 and stressful during talk to
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 person
face
 to
face
 and
this
 strange
problems
Suggestion
problem
 came from the
soical
relating to human society and its members
social
 media application
it
Suggestion
It
 can be solved if people ignoring
these application
Suggestion
this application
these applications
 and force themselves to
meeting
Suggestion
meet
 their friends or colleagues at coffee shops or gardens to
makes
Suggestion
make
 perfect times and date with new friends
.
Accept space
.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand
,
Accept space
,
person
Suggestion
the person
a person
people
 who likes shopping on online
store
 rather than go to
real
Suggestion
a real store
store
 to buy
somthings
 for him
,
Accept space
,
 may that comes from a lot of offers made by
online
Suggestion
online stores
store
 and it can get a lower
prices
Suggestion
price
(
Accept space
(
discount) than a real
store
that
Suggestion
That
 is reason impact on people buy from online
store
.
Accept space
.
there
Suggestion
There
also
reason
Suggestion
a reason
 for that badly things effect a person to shopping from online
wepsites
a computer connected to the internet that maintains a series of web pages on the World Wide Web
websites
,
Accept space
,
 they can return their things if they wanted with 12 days
in
Suggestion
of
 expiring date
wepsite
a computer connected to the internet that maintains a series of web pages on the World Wide Web
website
websites
 that number more than a real
store
 they given
.
Accept space
.
my
Suggestion
My
 opinion for
this
 problem and I hope to survive people from their illness
.
Accept space
.
try
Suggestion
Try
 to crush any bad ideas when you meet people
outside
Accept comma addition
outside, then
then
 enter yourself every day if you could that and
this
 badly things it will be solved
and
Suggestion
And
 go away from you
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by salm260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: