IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries girls score higher in examines than boys in high school, even in the sciences. Yet in these same countries boys are more likely to have careers as scientist. Why do you think more boys become scientists than girls? Should the government and university offer incentives for girls to take up careers in science?

Attitude and social conditioning in certain societies is one of the most significant reasons for a lack of women in
science
Use synonyms
 careers. Diversity in gender and characteristics may be needed in
science
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
government
Suggestion
the government
 should offer attractive incentives for women to study and
purse
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
pursue
 a position in
science
Use synonyms
. The most significant cause of less women in
science
Use synonyms
 field is
overall attitude
Suggestion
the overall attitude
an overall attitude
 towards women, both personally and community. In many countries, especially in Asian countries, people have their own traditional belief that men are good at
science
Use synonyms
 relevant careers
such
Linking Words
 as doctor, engineer, and scientist.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they think that women are good at social
science
Use synonyms
jobs including
Accept comma addition
jobs, including
 accountant, journalist, and artist.
Also
Linking Words
, social condition is another consideration. According to global
science
Use synonyms
 organisation bodies
such
Linking Words
 as Nobel Prize, 90% of candidates and nominees are men. While there
are
Suggestion
is
 some increasing of women in
science
Use synonyms
 recently. The number of participations is still not enough to make an impact
for
Suggestion
in
 the society to change their attitude toward women in
science
Use synonyms
. The government should offer attractive incentives
such
Linking Words
 as scholarships or apprenticeship opportunities for women who choose to study and
purse
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
pursue
 their career in
Use synonyms
science area
Suggestion
the science area
science areas
. In every subject, diversity in gender and characteristics may be needed because every
people
Suggestion
person
are
Suggestion
is
 different. While male personalities might be more suitable for
science
Use synonyms
 relevant careers, female characteristics, which men might lack of like more concentration to the details will fulfil limitations and invent
new methodology
Suggestion
new methodologies
a new methodology
the new methodology
 of work or solve the problem that might have not solved for a long time,
for example
Linking Words
, a vaccination for COVID-19. In conclusion, traditional belief and attitude towards women in
science
Use synonyms
 is the cause of less female scientists. The government should provide incentives for women to study and
purse
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
pursue
 their careers in
science
Use synonyms
 as diversity would help to fulfil limitation, improve ability and innovate new solutions for certain
science
Use synonyms
 related issues.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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