IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past,
people
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 who wanted to communicate with
friends
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 had to send snail
mails
Fix the agreement mistake
mail
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 or meet face-to-face.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays,
people
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 can use many new forms of communication like email, messaging, etc., on social media to interact with their
friends
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 without meeting face-to-face. It is assumed that
this
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 has had a bad influence on their relationship and social lives. Personally, I partially agree with the assumption. It is true that
people
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 spend much time messaging on their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 and do not see their real
friends
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 so much. I think
people
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 nowadays have to work and study a lot, so they hardly have time to invite their
friends
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 to go to a cafe for a chat because it takes a lot of time to go
to
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apply
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somewhere and wait for their
friends
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.
However
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, if
people
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 spend many hours chatting on their
smart phone
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smartphones
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, it can have bad impacts on their health. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words,
people
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 can have health-related problems like obesity, nearsightedness, even
heart
Correct article usage
a heart
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 attack,...
However
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, modern ways of communication make
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people
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people's
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 social lives better than in the past.
For instance
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, the weather is rainy and we can not go to see our
friends
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face -to-face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
. We can make a video call with our
friends
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 through Facebook, Zalo,... Anyway, modern forms of contact
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as email and
messaging
Punctuation problem
messaging,
show examples
 are very convenient and time-consuming. In conclusion, I think that modern methods of contact have many good aspects, but they
also
Linking Words
 have some bad effects on our social lives. Anyway, it depends on the users.

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task
Be clear with your view. Start with a strong sentence that states your position and keep this view in the main points.
coherence
Link ideas in a smooth way. Use simple words to move from one idea to the next, like and, but, also, for example.
content
Give each main idea a bit more detail or example. Explain why you think this point is true.
grammar
Check small errors that slow reading. For example, fix 'In the other words' to 'In other words', and fix split words like 'face -to-face'.
structure
The writer shows a clear plan by talking about past, present, and a final thought.
content
Effort to argue on both sides of the topic.
language
Plain, easy words are used so the reader can follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital communication
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • social bonds
  • non-verbal cues
  • text-based communication
  • tone of voice
  • facial expressions
  • body language
  • digital presence
  • real-life relationships
  • deterioration
  • long-distance relationships
  • misunderstandings
  • emotional richness
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