The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revenant.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revenant.
The first bar chart compares two reasons for
study
conforming
student’s
Change preposition
to student’s
show examples
age
. The
second
bar chart provides the percentage of
support
given by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers to those
students
.
Firstly
, it’s
clearly
Replace the word
clear
show examples
that
students
under 39
study
Change to a plural noun
studies
show examples
to possibly achieve a good
career
in the future.
In contrast
students
over 49 tend to
study
for interest more than for a
career
.
However
, the graph demonstrates that the percentage of studying for a
career
has declined
whereas
studying
Correct article usage
the studying
show examples
for interest’s percentage has increased over the
age
groups. Surprisingly, half of the
students
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 40 to 49 tend to
study
for interest and the other half
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
to get a
career
.
Secondly
, an analysis of the
second
bar chart
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
that
students
under 26, have the most employer
support
than any others.
Although
the
age
group 30-39 received less time off and help with the fees, it demonstrates a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employer
support
over the
next
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
.
Overall
, younger
students
study
to pursue a
career
and have more
support
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers than older
students
.
Submitted by Beatriz Gomes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Vocabulary: Replace the words study, age, support, students, career with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: