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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health
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These days, watching
televison
broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects
television
 and playing
video
Use synonyms
 games has become a favourite hobby of many children. Most people argue that watching movies and playing
video
Use synonyms
 games excessively can have a negative impact on
children's mind
Suggestion
the child's mind
child's mind
a child's mind
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
of some legitimate reasons
Suggestion
some legitimate reasons
 which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. It has been observed over
years
Suggestion
the years
 that failure in
video
Use synonyms
 games can cause serious damage to children's mental health. A child
often start
Suggestion
often starts
 feeling less confident as well as sad when he
loose
Suggestion
looses
 any
video
Use synonyms
 game and
such
Linking Words
 consecutive failures can often lead to
dipression
a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity
depression
, which is a serious mental illness. Studies suggest that these failures can even cause dire consequences among teenagers
.
Accept space
.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently it was reported in The
hindu
of or relating to or supporting Hinduism
Hindu
, a leading newspaper of India, that a child attempted suicide after failing in one of the
video
Use synonyms
 games, named PUBG.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, watching negative content on Television can
also
Linking Words
 have a damaging impact on young minds. Children often feel inspired to execute a crime when they watch any crime show or movie. To state an example, in the past, police had found that many juvenile did the crime after watching a
voilent
acting with or marked by or resulting from great force or energy or emotional intensity
violent
 movie or show based on criminal story.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
often many children
Suggestion
many children often
 start having trust issues after watching several stories of family
betrayel
an act of deliberate betrayal
betrayal
betrayals
. In conclusion,
video
Use synonyms
 games and television shows can harm the developing mind of children by feeding them with negative as well as
voilent
acting with or marked by or resulting from great force or energy or emotional intensity
violent
 content.
Therefore
Linking Words
, parents must control and supervise their children's activities to avoid any
mishappening
Suggestion
 in the future.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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