some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #ban #sports #freedom #activities

In modern society, extreme sports

have been gaining

Suggestion

have gained

increasing popularity. Some people hold the view that

government

should set

legislation

Suggestion

the legislation

to prohibit these kind of sports while others claims state couldn’t interfere people’s decision about which kind of sport we choose. In

this

essay, I will examine both sides of the debate and seek for a conclusion. One camp of the debate asserts that

government

intervention plays an indispensable role in those sportsmen safety, to help them make

more informed decision

Suggestion

more informed decisions

a more informed decision

. It is common that a majority of amateurs are lack of the basic knowledge in the dangerous sports and get little understanding of the risk in them. These kinds of sports, particularly extreme sports, contain numerous uncertainty associated with unpredictable weather and equipment, and some hazardous stunts that request for a higher level of amateurs’ talent and experience. All of these factors are tightly linked

with

Suggestion

their safety, if once something unintended happens

such

as rock climbing in

snowstorm

Suggestion

a snowstorm

, it is highly possible that the consequences would be disastrous, causing injuries, or even death. With the legislation of the prohibition in these dangerous sports, the possibility for the accidental hurt will slump dramatically. The opponents refute the statement that

government

Suggestion

the government

should prevent public from the dangerous sports which can only depend on each person. Whether or

not people

Accept comma addition

not, people

make

attempt

Suggestion

attempts

to experience extreme sports is associated

with individual’s

Suggestion

with an individual’s

preference. Owing to the countless thrill and excitement people can perceive, these kind of sports are deemed as an outlet for aggression, distress and anxiety under the huge pressure of

this

fast-paced society.

This

is because these stunts

stimulates

Suggestion

stimulate

people’s epinephrine and dopamine, driving them to forget the upset and become energized. In

this

way, not only can people achieve their exercise goals,

such

as strengthening their bodies or burning the calories to keep shape, but they

also

can be detached themselves from the stress temporarily to enjoy the mind relaxation. In conclusion, in spite of the hazards the dangerous sports bring to people, they provide a platform for those amateurs to roam in the ocean of the pleasure.

Therefore

, it is highly recommended that

government

should

alarm the public to

Suggestion

alarm the public

get

better understanding

Suggestion

a better understanding

of risks in these sports and inform those who are not suitable to exercise, but not interfere individuals’ final decision.

Submitted by Cecilia on Mon Jul 27 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

383 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled they say that the only way to increase recycling is for goverments to make it a legal requiremet.

We live in a worlds of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages the problems in terns of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent you agree

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?