A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 spend too much time watching tv or playing video games.How does the problem affect the hildren,their families and society?What measures can be taken to control it?

#report #children #time #tv #video #games #hildren #families #society #measures #control

Due to

advancement

Suggestion

the advancement

of technology young

ones

Suggestion

one's

age ranges from 7to 11 take many hours in streaming television as well as use gadgets for playing E-games.The effect of

this

platforms

Suggestion

platform

has been an alarming that affect child’s social life and overall well-being.

This

essay

intend

Suggestion

intends

is intended

to delve with the possible impact of technology to children

Accept space

family and society as well as the necessary interventions to be done to mitigate

this issues

Suggestion

this issue

these issues

. At present

Accept space

children’s mind

has easily corrupted

Suggestion

easily corrupted

easily corrupts

by the outside influences and due to modern apps most of children exposed to it

Accept space

will greatly affect child’s physical

Accept space

mental and

paychological

mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature

psychological

health.Spending too much time playing games will result to health problems like

ete

the organ of sight

eye

strain

Accept space

lack of sleep

Accept space

obesity and irritable like

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

Accept space

they

become less productive to

Suggestion

become less productive

society as they do not participate in family gatherings and

also

social activities

Suggestion

their community disrupting social relationships. In order to solve

this problems

Suggestion

this problem

these problems

Accept space

a required action should be done by parents like encouraging children to participate in family events

Accept space

communicates well

Suggestion

with

their children daily and raising the awareness of children the detrimental outcome of irresponsible using of modern devices. In conclusion

Accept space

media contributes to

child’s development

Suggestion

the child’s development

a child’s development

and uncontrolled use of these

technology

Suggestion

technologies

should be monitored by the family.Parental guidance and supervision

toward

Suggestion

their children is a must.

Submitted by Mark Cruz on Tue Jul 28 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 spend too much time watching tv or playing video games.How does the problem affect the hildren,their families and society?What measures can be taken to control it?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

letter to your landlord complaining about noise in the bolck of flats which he owns. You should include Where you live Explain the problem What he should do

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?