In the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is the fact that the working market has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed significantly
due to
the
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
in technology. Some
people
think that an academic degree is a prerequisite criterion to get
the
Correct article usage
an
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honour and
high-income
Correct article usage
a high-income
show examples
job
. I believe employee need to have more other
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
not only their university training. There is no doubt that tertiary education plays a big part in
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
show examples
working market.
Firstly
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education equips students with a lot of academic knowledge that they hard to find anywhere else. In reality, most management positions often require
job
-seekers to have a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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or higher
degrees
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degree
show examples
. In recent decades, many jobs have lost each year, leading to finding a
job
is becoming more and more competitive.
Addition
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In addition
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to
this
,
robot
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robots
show examples
and automatic machinery have replaced
people
in many manual works, higher education seems to be inevitable to get a decent business.
On the other hand
, a rewarding career is not only requiring academic knowledge. Especially in the management place, it usually requires applicants to have
leading
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leadership
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and interpersonal skills.
Therefore
, to become a competitive candidate, social and emotional intelligence is
also
important as well.
Finally
, some
people
may confuse
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good
job
with an academic career, but there still
have
Verb problem
apply
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many other lines of work
Correct pronoun usage
that requires
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requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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natural talent or personal behaviour and attitude.
For example
, a vocational school can be a good place to train a good nurse, singer or dancer. In conclusion, I strongly believe that university training is important but not enough to get a rewarding
job
with a high wage.
People
should prepare both relevant academic degrees and experience before applying
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
job
.
Submitted by Trinh Vuong on

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The introduction clearly presents the topic and states your position on it. This is a strong start to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a clear summary of your main points and reiterates your stance, which reinforces the essay's argument and provides a sense of closure.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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