IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The reason that most people are in debt is the overuse as well as irresponsible use of credit cards. Banks ought to do a background check and only issue credit cards to individuals who have the ability to pay back their debts. What is your opinion?

#reason #people #debt #overuse #credit #cards #banks #background #check #individuals #ability #debts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Live
today
 and pay tomorrow has become the mantra for most millennials. I strongly agree that plastic money and its over-selling to impressionable youth, without proper monitoring of
credit
 history and repayment capacity
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
has contributed to most individuals heading towards a financially insecure future. My essay will highlight two major points that will support my hypothesis,
firstly
 why the younger generation
today
 is misusing banking facilities and
secondly
, how the banks are furthering their cause by taking undue advantage of the situation. We are living in stressful times where the shiny new toy
today
 is old news tomorrow. The generation
today
 has been habituated to get their needs met instantaneously. Take
for example
 if they want to eat a Tiramisu; they know a simple click on their smartphones will get them what they desire. Ostentatious displays are enabled by social media and they have us craving for more just as we scroll down our newsfeed. A magical card answers all your problems with a single swipe motion, for the youth of
today
this
 is what dreams are made of; pay later yet enjoy the fruits
today
.
On the other hand
, the banks are business houses who hear the cash register ringing when another individual
defaults
Change the verb form
default
show examples
 payment for the
second
 month in the row. Banks need to have more stringent controls and background checks in place before approving a
credit
 card application. Unfortunately, rather than regulating their processes
Add a comma
,
show examples
these financial institutions are ready to bump up your limit or offer you a
credit
 card at the
next
 call. I would like to summarize by saying that both individuals and banks need to be more responsible when handling
credit
 facilities, the
next
 recession is never too far along. I
thus
 agree in entirety with the statement.
Submitted by Vasundra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: