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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #design #wave-energy #machine #location #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows different components of a wave
energy
Use synonyms
machine
Use synonyms
 and the process of how
energy
Use synonyms
 is generated. The
second
Linking Words
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows two wave
energy
Use synonyms
 machines with different location options. In the first
Use synonyms
diagram
Add a comma
,diagram
show examples
 we can see how water enters into the
machine
Use synonyms
, heats up, evaporates into the air and rises in an upward direction after going through the chambers and a turbine where electricity is produced and
then
Linking Words
 cold air flows in the
machine
Use synonyms
 from above and sinks. A comparison is shown between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 machines in the
second
Linking Words
diagram
Use synonyms
. The one which is located uphill seems to generate lower units of
energy
Use synonyms
 than the
machine
Use synonyms
 which is located downhill because it is exposed to smaller waves. Small wave
energy
Use synonyms
machine
Use synonyms
 appears to have lower installation costs
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large waves
energy
Use synonyms
machine
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one must
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 the location based on their requirements.
Submitted by memmedligunya on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words diagram, energy, machine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "wave" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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