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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#places #food #meals #drinks #shops #prices #development
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Our diet is becoming increasingly unhealthy.
This
 is reflected in the fact that cheap, fast
food
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and sugary drinks are now found in many shops around the world.
However
,
this
 low
cost
 and convenience
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 at a
cost
. Undoubtedly, the availability of prepared meals and canned drinks has some advantages.
This
type
 of
food
 is abundant because it appeals to our taste buds. People would not eat it so often if they did not crave the taste. The low
cost
also
 means that people on a lower income can afford to feed their families, and it is made even more appealing because it
also
 saves time in the kitchen. There are now so many big businesses based on producing
this
type
 of
food
 and drink that many workers are dependent on the selling or making of it, and
this
 industry is a key employer of many
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 families. These advantages show that
this
 development is likely to continue for some time.
Nevertheless
, the negative effects are significant. The low
cost
 of
this
type
 of
food
 means that it has become more of a staple diet for many people. It is widely acknowledged that processed and sugary foods are unhealthy, so their widespread consumption is concerning.
Such
food
 contains many additives, offers little nutrition, and is largely seen as responsible for the growing obesity problems around the world.
In addition
, there are links to diabetes, all of which affects the economy as well as putting pressure on the healthcare system. Ultimately, the problems associated with
this
type
 of
food
 have an impact on everyone. In conclusion, the availability and convenience of
this
type
 of
food
 mean that it is likely to be here to stay.
Nevertheless
, the long-term health effects show that, on the whole,
this
 is a negative development. Finding a way to increase the
cost
 would go some way to solving
this
.
Submitted by Andy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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