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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#century #advances #people #workplace #today’s #technology #process #rate #unemployment
Needless to say, as
technology
 have been developing since hundred years ago. In
this
 day Some of the
job
 position
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 replaced by
technology
 in
w
Add an article
the
show examples
orkplace. Which cause the unemployment rate has been increasing today. I’d like to say is depend on which
industry
. I will attempt to outline my perspective regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the topic. To commence with, technological advances have an effect on
the
Remove the article
apply
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certain
industry
such
 as car
industry
 or some physical shops. in
c
Add an article
the
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ar
industry
, due to The automated machines or robot able to do a lot of
job
 as painting or install car together, so
that is
 to say the factory don't need that
much
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many
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 staffs anymore.
Moreover
 , physical shops have replaced gradually by e-businesses, many
of
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apply
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individual prefer to
shopping
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shop
show examples
 online today which can save their time and travel fee.
However
, in some
of
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apply
show examples
industries
technology
 have
bring
Change the verb form
brought
show examples
 various of advantage.
For instance
, we can send a message to our friend or family by
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 or call face time for your
job
 meeting.
Hence
 wherever we are we still can keep in touch with our lover or keep following our
job
 progress
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
.
In addition
, when you are delivering a cake or packers to some strange place, The Google map can guide you to your destination.
Thus
a
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the
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dvance of high
technology
 can assist our
job
 easier than past. To sum up , technological advances have been very helpful in
c
Add an article
a
show examples
ertain
industry
, but in some aspect
technology
 might
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 cause a few
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
 of people
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 their
job
 and some of the
job
 position will disappear too .
Submitted by atruru0427 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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