Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion.

Owing to
the
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apply
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financial need, every individual pursues their own working style; either
job
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a job
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in
the
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a
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multinational company or
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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their
Change the word
a
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business.
However
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, a section of society vehemently deems that starting their own business is a good option rather than working under a supervisor. In my opinion, both modes of employment are best provided that individual must ensure their circumstances. On the one hand, various factor makes people feel that self-employment is a great way of earning. First and foremost, Running own business would provide an individual with personal freedom.
In other words
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,
while
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working in their store or an office, the individual is free from time limitations.
Similarly
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, employers do not need an academic degree in order to initiate their
carrier
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career
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. In India,
for example
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, many minor communities start their small employments to earn money with their personal freedom.
On the other hand
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,
pursing
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pursuing
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jobs
under
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in
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profitable companies is
also
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a good future plan. Chiefly, as big job companies often provide controlled working hours, people who are working for them would limit their burden to some extent.
Likewise
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, the salary always remains constant, regardless of the profit of a certain company.
Moreover
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, the jobbers get some major and minor benefits from the owners on different occasions,
such
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as Diwali and so on. In conclusion,
although
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working under an owner or under own circumstances
have
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has
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various constructive sides. But in my experience, if money allows, the individual always
try
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tries
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to create their own source of income; as it provides more financial freedom and great opportunity to spend precious time with family and friends.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, especially for self-employment advantages.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarise your points well.
task achievement
Your writing covers both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion.
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