IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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The
bart
Correct your spelling
bar
Bart
 chart and the table below provide information about how many people attended to different event venues and the
ticket
Use synonyms
 cost in these venues in 2009. Overall, the
greartest
Correct your spelling
greatest
 attendance was seen in cinemas whereas sport had the lowest.
Fotball
Correct your spelling
Football
 Games tickets were the most expensive
one
Use synonyms
, whereas Cinema
ticket
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the cheapest. Cinemas had the greatest number of attendees. It could be
attributabble
Correct your spelling
attributable
 to the price of the tickets, which is $15 for
one
Use synonyms
 person and $55 for four. In 2009, over 100.0000 people went to
this
Linking Words
 venue.
By contrast
Linking Words
, under 200.0000 people attended to Sports venues, perhaps for the prices of the tickets which were the most expensive within the
threre
Correct your spelling
three
 venues. It seems that the price of the tickets influences people to attend to
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 venues. Football Games admission prices for the AFL games
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 the most expensive
one
Use synonyms
 within all the Football Games events, people had to pay $75 for a single
ticket
Use synonyms
 and $298 for four people. The prices for theme parks tickets were $70 for
one
Use synonyms
 person and $210 for a family
ticket
Use synonyms
 which included 4 people. Another kinds of sports,
such
Linking Words
 as Basketball and Cricket games had
c
Change the article
the
show examples
heapest
ticket
Use synonyms
 compare with
footbal
Correct your spelling
football
 games, $34 and $24 a respectively for a
ticket
Use synonyms
 It seems that a huge influence
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 cinema attendance is due to the price.
Submitted by juansebastian-t on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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