IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
In the
first
 world countries,most of the top-level positions in the corporate sectors are occupied by males even when the percentage of female employees is greater. It is claimed by many that some of these top-level positions should be reserved for women workers due to many reasons.
However
, in my opinion, hiring must be done on basis of education, work experience so that it is justified, not on basis of gender.
To begin
 with, I would like to state that females workers are no less than its opposite sex, they are capable of achieving everything with their hard work. In a report published in India's top newspaper,it is claimed that women are productive at work and in positions like sales and marketing. In India, the government has
also
 made it a mandate to hire 1/3rd women employees for top-level positions.
Nevertheless
, human resource managers are more focused on finding a relevant candidate for the vacant positions based on their previous job roles and study background for a perfect fit. If companies started giving preference to its female audience it will lead to demotivation in the workplace which will directly impact the performance.
Moreover
, if someone at critical post takes a bad decision, it can really hamper the company's growth.
For instance
, my boss hired his relative for the Chief Marketing Officer position, but he was not capable to handle the responsibilities so
finally
,he had to resign.
Furthermore
, all genders are equally capable to perform a duty, but what matters the most is which once has the relevant knowledge to handle the job well.
For example
, many women started their own companies and now they are doing so well in terms of revenue, so gender doesn't matter, what matter is you passion to achieve your goals. In conclusion, we can say that the growth of an industry depends on its workforce. The environment of a workplace is very crucial and motivated employees always contribute their best for the companies they are working for. It is
also
 predicted that
this
 gender bias will be low in future and all will be given equal opportunities.
Submitted by kapil.gulliya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: