IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #women
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, an increase in the number of high-level positions is the major concern across the countries. With each passing day, people spend a lot of time while dealing with top positions that really made their lives complicated, there is enough chance for improvement.
Huge
Change the article
A huge
The huge
show examples
 number of people do react differently
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of ample freedom. The present essay will discuss the topic in a broader manner.
Firstly
Linking Words
, equality holds an important human value. Male and Female balance pattern
is widely use
Change the verb form
is widely used
show examples
 among the countries. They are a sign of improvement. We must ensure every gender has access to them.
For instance
Linking Words
, Gender-equality. But undoubtedly, one
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
the benefit is that they are less stressful.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
There
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
r
Add an article
a
show examples
ise and fall in workforce issues. Social awareness is another where Governments and private groups or individuals can share responsibility. Developing countries are more likely to suffer male ego issue at a great level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, developed nations have always been far ahead in the terms of solution and actually mostly to get credit for it.
For example
Linking Words
, in the USA people do believe in an equal opportunity. In conclusion, though time changes and people may vary in their opinions, I think only positive changes will con bring more benefits .
However
Linking Words
, companies and governments can only play
v
Add an article
a
show examples
ital role to track
this
Linking Words
 subject. There are many ways to get things done quickly, but one should remember there are hidden issues. I firmly believe that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.
Submitted by hKc47$p# on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
What to do next:
Look at other essays: