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Band 4

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.

#families #change
It has become apparent in recent
time
 that a
lot
 of families do not get on well as they used to be. Some people concerned about
this
. Less and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people meet and
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
 with each other. They stop sharing their dreams and problems. Let us look at the reason for
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
s
Add an article
the
show examples
ame families.
First
, Children start living alone when they grow up. They moved
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 different cities, so they rarely see with immediate family. The distance between cities is large and difficult to meet often. It is
sadly
Replace the word
sad
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because parents wont to see their children.
Second
. Modern world does not give you free
time
 to meet your family. People are very busy. Young people study a
lot
. They always get their education. Old people always work hard to provide for their family. It is very difficult to find
time
 for
communication
 with
l
Add an article
a
show examples
oving family.
Next
, a very important reason is modern gadgets, especially phones. A
lot
 of people sit
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 social networks. Children always game on the phone. Modern gadgets can help people and can separate from each other. A
lot
 of
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 just do not have
time
 for
communication
 with
n
Add an article
the
show examples
uclear family. All family should be as close. Nothing can replace
communication
 with loved ones. Psychologists recommend limiting children to game on the phone or computers.
Also
, all people should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
meet with their relatives. Wrong when people are not as close as they used to be. Let us put our problems aside and start communicating with family.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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