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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

#people #access #computers #children #video #games
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Today, in
this
Linking Words
techological
Correct your spelling
technological
 era, new games evolved
everyday
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every day
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, children like to
access
Use synonyms
c
Add an article
the
a
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omputer and play
video
Use synonyms
 games. There are pros and cons of playing
video
Use synonyms
 games and
serching
Correct your spelling
searching
 on computers for children. In below paragraph
Add a comma
,
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I discuss both views.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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a
Add an article
the
an
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dvantage of
access
Use synonyms
 computer and playing games, it helps in
s
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the
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tudy. Many computer games
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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 to read
i
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the
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nstruction before
start
Change the form of the verb
starting
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 the
game
Use synonyms
 which
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 children to understand the
game
Use synonyms
 and follow the things
mannually
Correct your spelling
manually
,
this
Linking Words
 quality helps children to focus
in
Verify preposition usage
on
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s
Add an article
the
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tudy as well as in other projects.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
access
Use synonyms
comuters
Correct your spelling
computers
 helps children keep updated with new technology and
also
Linking Words
 it helps in school projects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, though playing
video
Use synonyms
 games have some advantages, there are some disadvantages,
tennegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 get easily addicted
with
Change the preposition
to
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 new things and they get involved much more and they play
Use synonyms
g
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the
a
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ame all night which affects on school activity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
video
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 games are violent which create many negative things to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 minds and lead to crime.
Also
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,
there
Replace the word
their
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 research shows that obesity and many health problems create due to playing
Use synonyms
v
Add an article
a
show examples
ideo
game
Use synonyms
 because person
sit
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sits
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 at one place and has no physical movement, resulting
Verify preposition usage
in
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many healths problems reported. In
Add an article
a
show examples
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
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,
access
Use synonyms
 to computers and playing
video
Use synonyms
 games has its advantage and disadvantage. it helps
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 in
s
Add an article
the
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tudy as well as helps to focus. while negative effects are children get addict with the games and not focus on their school subjects
also
Linking Words
 create
helath
Correct your spelling
health
 problems like obesity and many more.
Submitted by romika on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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