Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect

Many

people

think that

video

games

are not only a

funny

Replace the word

fun

show examples

game but

also

a useful educational tool, while other

people

hold the belief that

video

games

will harm the

people

playing them.

This

essay attempts to discuss both views before coming to a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand,

video

games

have a bad effect on

people

who play them.

First

of all, some

games

may affect the behaviour or the characteristics of the child. There are more and more violent

games

being produced and

children

who are not able to recognise them. When they play a lot of violent

games

Change the pronoun

they

show examples

may have an adverse effect on their growth.

In addition

, playing

video

games

too much may lead to some bad effects

for

Verify preposition usage

show examples

our physical health. If we sit in one place to play

video

games

for a long time, our eyes will easily short-sighted or we

also

have

Add an article

show examples

ackache.

People

who play

games

so much they will easily experience depression because they do not communicate with other

people

On the other hand

video

games

have a wide range of benefits if we use it in the right way.

Firstly

people

can learn a lot of grammar or vocabulary of foreign languages which they are interested in. Some

video

games

are produced by some foreign engineers so that

people

can choose the language which they want to improve their skills or their vocabularies.

Secondly

, some

video

games

are produced to meet our educational needs. In the market, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a wide range of

video

games

which educate

children

such

as educating them to recognise colour and how to use colour to decorate the room or some cooking

games

can educate a child to cook some easy foods. In conclusion,

video

games

have a lot of merits and shortcomings. To my point of view, the disadvantages of

video

games

may be weighed by the advantages if we can manage time to play

games

. And parents should know what kind of

games

their

children

are playing so that they can prevent

children

if they play some violent

games

Submitted by mmphuong191 on Mon Jan 18 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.