Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The employers
Correct article usage
Employers
work
hard to determine the holiday
allocations for their employees
in the contemporary workplace. Some people claimed
that Wrong verb form
claim
staff
should have one-month
break annually, and the merit of Correct article usage
a one-month
this
policy is obvious to help staff
release from high stress and endless tasks. However
, from my point of view, I partly disagree about
Change preposition
with
this
statement.
It is undeniable that the extended holiday
has some advantages to motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
staff
performing
better at Change the verb form
to perform
work
. This
is mainly because it provides more time for employees
to take care of themselves and their families, and it leads to a balance of work
and quality life
. Change preposition
of life
This
results in higher life satisfaction among those employees
. I believe that most of those staff
will appreciate the 4-week holiday
. In return, those staff
will be willing to devote more of their attention on
the processing of their jobs.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, extending the length of the holiday
will also
cause some drawbacks, which may put a company at stake. This
is mainly because personnel are passive after a long period of a break since they are not doing their regular tasks such
as customer service and commercial communication. In
a result, the working environment is not effective, and it will definitely affect badly on the company’s achievements. Change preposition
As
Furthermore
, small companies which contain few staff
and each of them is responsible for a certain position may likely cause delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
on
projects if any employee is on a long leave. In the end, Change preposition
in
this
policy may lead to economical
losses in Replace the word
economic
a
long run.
In conclusion, even though the passive effects of a four-week Correct article usage
the
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
is
obvious in reducing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
work
stress from employees
as well as
motivating the staff
to do better at work
. I concern
more Verb problem
am
about
the negative impacts of long vocations, Correct word choice
concerned about
such
as destruction
of the working environment when the Correct article usage
the destruction
staff
just be
back from Verb problem
gets
the
long leave and Correct article usage
a
economical
losses if someone Replace the word
economic
were
not on-site to complete the projects on time in small companies.Wrong verb form
is
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task response
Overall, the essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported but some examples could be more specific. However, the essay could have addressed the task requirements more comprehensively, providing a more thorough response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, with clear progression of ideas and well-linked paragraphs. However, the use of specific examples could be improved to provide more depth to the arguments and make the essay more compelling.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.