IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #managers #salaries #workers #company
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Some people consider that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
managers
Use synonyms
 are the lifeline of companies and they should be paid more whilst others have a contrasting viewpoint. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because they manage the work and
guide
Use synonyms
 others to work.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they check the whole process of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production and sales. They are performing key roles in the organisations. They check if everything is running smoothly. The
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to produce and
deliever
Correct your spelling
deliver
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 products to buyers is on them. They manage the requirements of the company. They decide the big decisions of the company. The raw products which are used in production are purchased by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
 that
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
 of an organisation is completely
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on top management. If they are good at managing skills,
company
Add an article
the company
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 will grow.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they perform key duties and they should be paid better salaries than
workers
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are mentors and teachers of other
workers
Use synonyms
. Everything that a worker performs is decided by the senior
managers
Use synonyms
. They
guide
Use synonyms
 them to act in an
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 manner. They are inculcated with techniques to perform the tasks perfectly. If the teacher is not correct, the whole process will be wasted.
Workers
Use synonyms
 are
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on them for their work because they are more aware and educated.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
 that ninety out of
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 do not have the knowledge of the process, they act
according to
Linking Words
 the advice of
managers
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
managers
Use synonyms
 are superior
than
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 other
workers
Use synonyms
 because they have better knowledge and
guide
Use synonyms
 others, they deserve better
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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. In conclusion,
managers
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 and check everything, the growth of the enterprises is
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on them. I strongly agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 opinion that they deserve better salaries than other employees of the companies.
Submitted by Priya on

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task response
Address the contrasting viewpoint in more detail to provide a balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • justification
  • experience
  • responsibility
  • high-stakes decisions
  • motivation
  • incentive
  • wage disparity
  • morale
  • meritocracy
  • performance
  • contributions
  • company finances
  • employee development
  • research
  • expansion
  • alternative compensation structures
  • performance-based bonuses
  • profit sharing
  • dissatisfaction
  • retention
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