In Modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays youngsters
give
Verb problem
have
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more preference for spending their leisure
time
outside, rather than with the members of their family. I assume, that the reason for
this
current trend lies behind the development of high technologies, which makes the gap between the two generations rather noticeable.
However
, I consider any strict method of keeping a person at home more than unacceptable.
To begin
with, the more the world develops, the more various the entertaining activities for young people become.
Therefore
, these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters spend a huge amount of
time
surfing the Internet, chatting or discussing the new technical opportunities of an electronic device with their friends.
Therefore
, the great diversity of personal interests contributes to avoiding family interactions.
For example
, how can one explore the latest functions of the
I-Phone’s
Correct your spelling
iPhone’s
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camera with his parents, who, to some extent, use the mobile phone only for calling someone or texting a message? At the same
time
, I am completely sure that enforcing the individuals to be mostly in touch with their parents will not be definitely beneficial both for the elders and children. Once the parent imposes his son or
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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daughter to do something without his or her eagerness,
then
this
will undoubtedly lead to misunderstanding.
Hence
, the gap between them will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be doubled. The most salient example of
this
is the recent experiment implemented by Oxford University, during which one of the groups was
enforced
Verb problem
forced
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to stay at home
throughout
Change preposition
for
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one week,
whereas
the other group was allowed to choose the place and the environment of the desired activity. After the, experiment the individuals
of
Change preposition
in
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the first group spent thirty per cent less
time
with their families than before. In conclusion, the main cause of the young people
to
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apply
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spend more
time
out of
homes
Correct pronoun usage
their homes
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is connected with the cultural gap between them and the older generation,
due to
the recent evolution of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technologies,
while
for straightening family bonds mother and father should undertake measures without any pressure.
Submitted by shushan.basoyan on

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task response
Provide a clearer, more direct response to the essay prompt. Address the question of why young adults spend more time with friends than family and offer a more balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization to ensure a clearer connection between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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