Some people think that video games are advantageous while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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thinking power, better hand at computers,
problem solving
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problem-solving

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, team management, health
affects
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effects

The word affects doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, disrupt studies,
The online
Correct article usage
Online

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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and computer
games
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
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have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject games. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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gained popularity among youngsters and adults mainly. There are arguments about whether these
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
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have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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positive or negative effects on the individuals involved in them. I believe that there are certain negatives
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with

The word alongwith is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

benefits but harmful impacts can be avoided with controlled screen time.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay would discuss
the
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apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

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both sides in detail. On the one side,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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improved cognitive power is the main advantage for players of video
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. These
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

involves
Change the verb form
involve

The singular verb involves does not appear to agree with the plural subject games. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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tasks
which
Correct pronoun usage
that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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require skills
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as, instant decision making power,
problem solving
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problem-solving

It appears that problem solving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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