It is true that whilst many people use their public parks, this space could be used for other purposes, such as building houses for young people or developing a business area to create jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I believe that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public
parks
should be maintained because the public
parks
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
impaortant
Correct your spelling
important
portion to live in the
city
for human life. The public
parks
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
a resting place for many people who live in the
city
. The children can learn the nature in the public
parks
.
Also
, the public
parks
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
used for
animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
to live.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
city
surrounded by
the
Change the article
a
show examples
big building is not good for human life. People want to the space
whare
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
there are no cars and the place to avoid the complex things in the
city
. The public
parks
decrease the heat of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
. If there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no
parks
in the
city
, abnormal nature phenomenon will be
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
. The value of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public
parks
can not be compared with economic value. The public park is essential in the
city
.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: