It is true that whilst many people use their public parks, this space could be used for other purposes, such as building houses for young people or developing a business area to create jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Public
parks
are an area of open
space
where offer green
space
and recreation to residents of the city or visitors. Unfortunately, it is easily found that they are used away
form
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from
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their original purpose.
For example
,
space
for building a new house for young or business area to create employment. I do not agree that
a
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apply
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public
space
is replaced by
space
for other purposes. Public
parks
are very necessary for all kinds of
people
, children, young and old in cities.
People
take exercises and go on a picnic there. Children can have fun there with running, jumping and playing. The old find the
parks
very helpful in spending their evenings. Especially, the park in
crowded
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a crowded
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city is the only place where
people
of all ages can relax and feel close to
the
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nature. The stress and tension of modern life have made
people
immune to the beauty of nature. They cant not enjoy the beauty of flowers, swaying trees, flying birds. Their life is full of care and they have no time to relax. A public park is a place of rest and enjoyment for the poor as well as the rich. It makes us forget our problems and worries and makes us hopeful and happy. In a word, modern
parks
have a function of multivitamin for
malnourished
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a malnourished
the malnourished
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person.
Furthermore
, public
parks
play important role in purifying the air around us. Clean and fresh air is very needed for our health. The trees help in
brining
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bringing
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down the temperature a little and give us a moist feeling. All
this
makes us healthier, and life becomes enjoyable. It is
worth
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worthy
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of
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apply
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noting that the public park is
usally
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usually
owned and maintained by a local government. That means it provides benefits for
public
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the public
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, not for a certain age or group.
Therefore
it is the duty of the governments or municipalities that manage the
parks
to provide the public with as many
parks
as possible. In doing so they would
deliever
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deliver
real service to the public. In conclusion, public
parks
are very useful and provide
space
for relaxation and rest. I hope that public
parks
increase more and more.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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