Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Playing a sport in the field is essential for

children

Use synonyms

's development rather than squander time playing

games

Use synonyms

on TVs or computers. I concur with the given statement and I believe that

children

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must have spent their few hours with others while playing outdoor

games

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. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss some ideas to support my opinion. To embark with, external

activities

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not only benefited

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

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's health but

also

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boost their self-esteemed and confidence standard. To elaborate

further

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, it is a universal truth that physical and mental well-being must be equally developed among youngsters and it is only possible when they take part in sports and other outdoor exercises.

For instance

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, a survey conducted recently by the WHO has revealed that 40% of

children

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are the victim of loneliness and stress owing to spend most of the time while playing video

games

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instead

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of joining their age groups outside.

Moreover

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, when they try to beat the competitors with their practice it will enhance their confidence skill.

This

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ability makes them a stronger personality to handle a difficult situation.

Hence

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, outdoor sports are blessed for offspring to keep themselves physically and psychologically fit. To elucidate

further

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, numerous other development

also

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can be seen in

children

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due to outdoor movements.

Firstly

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, they get a chance to meet new people and their social circle would be increased when they play outdoor.

Secondly

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, they could learn the value of cooperating and helping others while playing sports.

This

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will help to achieve internal satisfaction which never is attained with video

games

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Additionally

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, external

activities

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connect them with nature and offer positive energy to destroy negative thoughts from their unconscious mind.

Therefore

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, with the assist of these outer movements

children

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are able to maintain their social and personal lives. To recapitulate, the aforementioned factors are manifest that outdoor

activities

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are much beneficial than indoor

games

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such

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as video

games

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Children

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should take part in these

activities

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regularly to establish themselves as a potent person in future life.

AMARJIT SINGHSat Mar 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
exercise and movement
social interaction
teamwork
communication skills
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
holistic approach
environmental awareness
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
posture
balance

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, full-time university students tend to focus on their studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?

Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages and the disadvantages?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

Noise in social places in city cause lots of problem. What are the solutions to this statement?