Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #video #games

Playing a sport in the field is essential for

children

's development rather than squander time playing

games

on TVs or computers. I concur with the given statement and I believe that

children

must have spent their few hours with others while playing outdoor

games

. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss some ideas to support my opinion. To embark with, external

activities

not only benefited

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

's health but

also

boost their self-esteemed and confidence standard. To elaborate

further

, it is a universal truth that physical and mental well-being must be equally developed among youngsters and it is only possible when they take part in sports and other outdoor exercises.

For instance

, a survey conducted recently by the WHO has revealed that 40% of

children

are the victim of loneliness and stress owing to spend most of the time while playing video

games

instead

of joining their age groups outside.

Moreover

, when they try to beat the competitors with their practice it will enhance their confidence skill.

This

ability makes them a stronger personality to handle a difficult situation.

Hence

, outdoor sports are blessed for offspring to keep themselves physically and psychologically fit. To elucidate

further

, numerous other development

also

can be seen in

children

due to outdoor movements.

Firstly

, they get a chance to meet new people and their social circle would be increased when they play outdoor.

Secondly

, they could learn the value of cooperating and helping others while playing sports.

This

will help to achieve internal satisfaction which never is attained with video

games

Additionally

, external

activities

connect them with nature and offer positive energy to destroy negative thoughts from their unconscious mind.

Therefore

, with the assist of these outer movements

children

are able to maintain their social and personal lives. To recapitulate, the aforementioned factors are manifest that outdoor

activities

are much beneficial than indoor

games

such

as video

games

Children

should take part in these

activities

regularly to establish themselves as a potent person in future life.

Submitted by AMARJIT SINGH on Sat Mar 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
exercise and movement
social interaction
teamwork
communication skills
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
holistic approach
environmental awareness
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
posture
balance

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?

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