Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #governments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products

Smoking is a threat to human

health

Hence

, some people advocate a total

ban

on cigarettes and other related products. I agree that smoking should be restricted and that

tobacco

Correct article usage

the tobacco

show examples

industry should be regulated.

However

, a total

ban

is too extreme because it will damage personal freedom and decrease tax revenue for the

government

. Admittedly, smoking is harmful to one’s

health

and should be restricted. It causes various

health

issues, damaging smokers’

resparatory

Correct your spelling

respiratory

and cardiovascular system.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

-hand smoke is equally bad

Change preposition

for

show examples

other people who are around

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smokers. These

health

risks will not only create illness to individuals

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

add extra burden to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

health

system.

Therefore

, it is reasonable to discourage

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and limit the expansion of the

tobacco

industry.

However

, imposing a total

ban

on cigarettes and

tobacco

products is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

damage to

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

freedom. Smoking, like any other recreational activities, is a personal choice. One can be advised but should never be forced to lead a certain lifestyle.

This

is a basic human right.

In addition

, banning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tobacco

products is going to eliminate a profitable sector, which contributes significantly to tax revenue for the

government

. Around the world, cigarettes are already being taxed heavily as a measure to discourage purchase.

High

Add an article

The high

A high

show examples

amount of

government

revenue raised by these taxes is used to build infrastructures and maintain a

health

system, which

benefit

Change the verb form

benefits

show examples

everyone including non-smokers. If

these money

Change the determiner

this money

show examples

were gone,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

will face

fiscal

Correct article usage

a fiscal

show examples

shortage and have to look for other sources of taxation, which may press other industries and sectors. In conclusion, smoking is not

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and should be

restricuted

Correct your spelling

restricted

. But imposing a

ban

on the whole industry does not make sense.

This

will only damage human right and cause a

serie

Correct your spelling

series

of other problems for the

government

. I disagree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

kind of extreme proposal.

Submitted by henggu on Thu Mar 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The parents of your Australian firend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for for him/her write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter Say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party Explain why you won't be able to attend the party Give the of a paln to see Chris at a different time
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown,
5
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?
In the modern era, there are some rules introduced by the legislative on the fixed number of hours that an employee is allowed to work per week. In my opinion, there are certain demerits of introducing these laws in the society. Therefore, I will explicate the reasons behind this scenario along with the examples in upcoming paragraphs thus, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
6.5
band
Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. Explain your choice by using specific reasons and detail.
In this time and age, with technology rising and growing every passing day, individuals are arguing whether or not it is beneficial for children to utilize these machines at an early age and spend long hours on them. The following essay will explain the arguments from both sides in depth as well as bring my perspective to light.
6
band
Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.
Nowadays, a huge number of languages and accents are found in different regions of the world. A part of society opines that dieing out of some of them doesn't make an important issue and living with a few ones is more ideal. However, I strongly disagree with them and I believe that we should protect all of them. In the following essay, my reasons will be mentioned.
9
band
Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?
The detrimental side of the advancement in the field of technology is the increase in pollution levels and the change of climate. Consequently, it has an adverse impact on human health as well as on the crops of the farmers. The possible way out from these challenges are mainly the introduction of laws to reduce carbon emission by the authorities. In addition to that, it is essential that humans become sensitive about the same and start behaving appropriately.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. Explain your choice by using specific reasons and detail.

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?