Nowadays, children watch a lot of tv and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the advent of technology , indoor

activities

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like watching

television

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and playing

video

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games

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have increased immensely. A popular belief is that watching

television

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is healthy for the

mind

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minds

show examples

children

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However

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, in

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

sharp contrast, others opine that these

activities

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affect their mental health . I support the latter view and believe that

such

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activities

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hurt the child's intellectual ability. First and foremost, watching

television

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for a longer duration affects the eyesight of the

children

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consequently

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leading to visual impairment. Many

children

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have started wearing prescription glasses at an early age because of playing

video

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games

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Secondly

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, playing

video

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games

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hurt

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hurts

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their mental health,

for example

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, playing shooting

games

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or fighting

games

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leads to insane behaviour and

make

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makes

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them more arrogant.

Thirdly

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, owing to indoor

activities

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, many

children

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are suffering from obesity which results in cardiac-related diseases.

Additionally

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, if the

children

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actively participate in outdoor physical

activities

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, they will inhale fresh air which will make their

mind

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minds

show examples

rejuvenate and will boost their competitive skills.

Children

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should be motivated to participate in yoga which is itself an indoor activity, it not only helps to foster the mind but

also

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make

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makes

show examples

them calm and subtle. In a survey conducted by The Times of India,

children

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who did yoga frequently were able to concentrate more on

the

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apply

show examples

academics

those

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apply

show examples

compared to the

one

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ones

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watching

television

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To conclude

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although

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watching

television

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and playing

video

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games

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amalgamates the

children

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's knowledge; mental health and peace cannot be compromised.

Children

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should be encouraged to be more involved in yoga and sports which keeps them calmer and in harmony.

saikiran.madugula777Mon Mar 29 2021

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task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks overall coherence and cohesion. Ensure that there is a clear structure and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of tv and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, more and more men are staying at home to look after their children when women work full-time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better lime to be alive than now.