IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays lots of
questions
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 related to personal interests and hobbies are being asked to a lot of candidates in an interview. There is a view that having these discussions helps in judging the personal traits of a person while others believe that
questions
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 should be strictly professional and related to work. I agree with the view that asking about some degree of personal
information
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 always helps an employer in judging whether the candidate is a right fit for the particular job but there should be certain boundaries to what type of personal
information
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 is being gathered. The type of
questions
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 being asked in an interview depends on what an employer is looking for in a person. If the position is of a team lead or a people manager, the candidate should have prior personal experience of handling people and should have an interest in managerial activities. Sometimes there are
questions
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 pertaining to the marital status of a particular applicant. These queries do help the interviewer to access how comfortable an employee would be working for that firm. In a situation where a candidate is married and his/her spouse works in a different location, there would obviously be an inclination to get a job in the same location.
However
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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personal
information
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 can be misused by
the
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apply
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employers or can be used as a tool to discriminate among candidates. There are cases where political preferences or difference in ideologies between interviewer and interviewee has led to rejections. In conclusion, probing an applicant’s personal
information
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 can be useful only if it is done within a certain limit and should have some motive to access the candidate’s suitability to the particular role but should not be the sole criteria for rejecting or selecting an aspirant.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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