IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

#people #cigarette #impact #ot #cigarettes #illegall #explanations #support
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smoking has become a daily dose for
everyone
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
Use synonyms
everyone
Capitalize word
Everyone
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 believes that so far it has had a negative impact on
humans
Change the noun form
human
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 life.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I agree to make cigarettes illegal worldwide and the reasons for it.
to begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
everyone
Use synonyms
 who smokes believes it will give them temporary relief it has a huge impact on human lungs.
Use synonyms
people
Capitalize word
People
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 who
somke
Correct your spelling
smoke
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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,all the harmful chemicals in that one will be stored in our body mainly affects the respiratory system.
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
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 example when you are smoking you need to breathe in
smoke
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 to give you relief.
overall
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,it will
cause
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 great damage to human body parts. next,it will
cause
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 addictive
problems
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.
although
Linking Words
everyone
Use synonyms
 starts smoking as a normal habit it will become more addictive in
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 days.the ingredients which are used to make smoking will make you feel like you want to
smoke
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 again and again.
recent
Capitalize word
Recent
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 studies show that younger
people
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 in a country
a preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 to
smoke
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 when compared with other aged
people
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.you need to stop
people
Use synonyms
 who are smoking in public areas as it will
cause
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problems
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
people
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 who don't
smoke
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
to
Capitalize word
To
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 sum up,because it will
cause
Use synonyms
 addictive
problems
Use synonyms
 government needs to take action by making them illegal around the world. in conclusion,
while
Linking Words
everyone
Use synonyms
is prefer
Wrong verb form
prefers
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 smoking as a daily habit from morning to evening,it is causing so many
problems
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 to them and all
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 ones who are
nearer
Replace the word
near
show examples
 them.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 won't stop immediately because of
the
Change the word
their
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 addiction to that drug.I totally agree that the only solution to make them stop is by increasing the cost to a huge amount where they can't even think of buying it or by making them illegal all around the world.
Submitted by manojdivi295 on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic of making cigarettes illegal worldwide, but the arguments are not developed fully. Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively structured to introduce and summarize the arguments more clearly.
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