Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions

Some people argue that when sales companies need to hire an employee, they should consider professionals who are vivid for

money

because

this

means these employees will

work

harder. In

this

essay, I will explain why I believe

money

is the key to hard

work

, and pinpoint factors that are important when hiring professionals for sales spots. It is often argued that many workers execute their tasks hardly because they want more and more

money

. I agree with

this

opinion because I believe

money

is the primary factor why people

work

intensely nowadays. To illustrate, everybody needs

money

to do numerous activities,

such

as buying new products or travelling.

In other words

, the society we are living in consumes products and services on an increasing scale.

Therefore

, the harder people

work

, the more

money

they will have to maintain their lifestyle. That being said, I believe there are other crucial factors that companies should consider when recruiting someone who will be a sales representative. The first main factor is to be someone who has good communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

This

is because I think

this

skill is highly important when someone is selling something and,

for instance

this

is the key factor that will make the customer buy the product or service.

In addition

, a salesman should have persuasive ability because not always the customer want to buy the product.

However

, if the salesman is good enough, he will convince the client that the product is essential and,

as a result

, the client will buy it. In conclusion, I believe

money

has a decisive role in hard

work

. But I

also

believe there are other characteristics that companies should worry about when they need a salesman,

such

as communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and the ability to persuade the client.

Submitted by samirzakur on Thu Apr 01 2021

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Task Response

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments about the importance of money in driving hard work and the factors to consider when recruiting sales staff. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is well-connected to the overall argument. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points more smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.

Task Response

Thorough discussion on the importance of money as a driving force for hard work.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?