nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. however, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. to what extend do you agree or disagree?
recent studies claim that
children
spend too much time
on screens like TV
and video
games
. while
some believe that watching TV
and playing video
games
can be excellent sources of education and entertainment, others are confident that much screen
time
can have a negative side effect on mental
child condition. personally, I support those who believe that it is wise to monitor and limit Correct article usage
the mental
screen
time
spent by young children
.
first of all, watching TV
and playing video
games
may trigger emotional and behavioral
issues. being trapped by these Change the spelling
behavioural
activities
kids
do not know how to socialise and how to express their feelings. also
, they may follow examples of TV
and video
game characters. for example
, some characters do not speak, just mumble. as
a result, Capitalize word
As
this
has a negative effect on a child's language skill
. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
parents
should pay more attention to these issues and set limits to TV
and video
games
so that children
can spend time
with friends and play sport
.
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
secondly
, excessive TV
viewing and video
games
playing have Fix the agreement mistake
game
shown
to decrease attention and cognitive functioning. these Add a missing verb
been shown
activities
may be damaging to children
's intelligence and mental problems. this
might result in poor academic performance. the latest researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
have
proven that Correct subject-verb agreement
has
time
spent on screens did
not affect academic success, Wrong verb form
does
in
the opposite, Change preposition
on
kids
who spend hours on
watching Change preposition
apply
TV
and playing video
do worse at school. other activities
like reading should be a high priority for parents
who wish to protect their children
from worse grades at school. as
Capitalize word
As
kids
may not understand the root causes of these problems, it is the responsibility of parents
to find proper ways how
to involve their Rephrase
apply
kids
in other activities
by setting a good personal example for their kids
.
in conclusion, I agree with the opinion that the
Correct article usage
apply
activities
, like watching TV
and playing video
games
are not beneficial for young children
in view of mental problems. parents
should set limits and rules for screen
time
. As
Correct word choice
Screen
screen
time
should be treated as a privilege.Submitted by dinarabdrasheva on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion on the given topic and provides a roadmap for the subsequent discussion. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion.
task achievement
The essay needs to fully address the task by discussing the pros and cons of children spending time on TV and video games. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main points and provides relevant examples and explanations.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite