IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government's decision to close the land borders in order to boost local production is a great idea. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this decision? What alternative decisions could have been used to boost local production?

In the present day, a portion of people
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 the government's idea
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
forbidden
Wrong verb form
forbidding
show examples
 the city border for
advance
Wrong verb form
advanced
show examples
 local production
while
Linking Words
 others do not see the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 decision.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain the views of benefits and drawbacks
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other solutions for local production.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, closing the borders could be enhanced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local production
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some
others way
Fix the agreement mistake
other ways
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, to put local population needs as a priority, in order to enhance awareness of the benefits of products for the local communities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, governments can
be
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a vital role provide the provision of grants, helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local entrepreneurs grow and transform.
For example
Linking Words
, sustainability and environmental protection are the keys to a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 economic goal in a
nation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is to say, the government's decision not only boosts the local industry but
also
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a vision of the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some downsides that exist at the same time,
such
Linking Words
 as the
nation
Use synonyms
 would lack
Change preposition
of
show examples
competition in global markets.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the economic relationship between nations will result in unbalance.
Although
Linking Words
 it is a great idea, blocking the country's borders to the world would weaken the
nation
Use synonyms
's status.
However
Linking Words
, the government should provide grants dedicated only to the local entrepreneurs and create a reliable system to ensure the grants are not diverted for other uses that can help to boost
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
 without necessarily closing the door
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 outsiders. In conclusion, governments should consider
further
Linking Words
 a
nation
Use synonyms
's vision,
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 conduct alternative
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to gain a situation of win-win.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly restate the topic and outline the main points you will discuss. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by examples. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
In your conclusion, summarize the key points more effectively and reiterate your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples to support your points, particularly regarding government grants and sustainability. This enriches your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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