IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries are handing over public services such as hospitals, railways and education to private companies to be run for commercial profit. Are governments justified in letting private profit manage the public interest?

#countries #services #hospitals #railways #education #companies #profit #governments #interest
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The word " privatization " means
transfer
Add the particle
to transfer
show examples
 the functional
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 to the private sector. It is
such
Linking Words
 a major question, is govt. Eligible to transfer public
institutes
Use synonyms
 to private companies, which run on common person tax and these
independed
Correct your spelling
independent
 sectors
are freely allow
Change the verb form
are freely allowed
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 to maintain public interest. But in my opinion
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 Could privatize some
institutes
Use synonyms
 but
adding
Change the verb form
add
show examples
 with some restrictions. Its fundamental evidence, private sectors. Because there are strict rules as well as its implication.
For instance
Linking Words
,
2018
Correct article usage
a 2018
show examples
 survey showed that 2 times surgical operations more successful in commercial hospitals than
Use synonyms
government
Change preposition
in government
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is political influence in
private
Add an article
the private
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 sector as compared to public
institutes
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 commercial hubs generate high revenue.
For example
Linking Words
, in Denmark car accidents rate increased by 20% but every victim had
license
Add an article
a license
the license
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
 privatize the license giving department
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 got the reports of corruption,
then
Linking Words
 within two
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 results
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 changed.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 for general public privatisation is more sound like the rising up cost. As
a evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
 in 2017 Nepal's providence gave the authority of
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 department to
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
 firm.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
,result
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 public had to
faced
Change the verb
face
show examples
 high bill's. To conclude
government
Use synonyms
 should privatize the white elephant sector of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. So may these
institutes
Use synonyms
 could generate decent mark up too, but basic facilities like hospital, education, and security should be provided by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. So everything should
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 in the interest of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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