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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some countries are handing over public services such as hospitals, railways and education to private companies to be run for commercial profit. Are governments justified in letting private profit manage the public interest?

#countries #services #hospitals #railways #education #companies #profit #governments #interest
The word " privatization " means
transfer
Add the particle
to transfer
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 the functional
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 to the private sector. It is
such
 a major question, is govt. Eligible to transfer public
institutes
 to private companies, which run on common person tax and these
independed
Correct your spelling
independent
 sectors
are freely allow
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are freely allowed
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 to maintain public interest. But in my opinion
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 Could privatize some
institutes
 but
adding
Change the verb form
add
show examples
 with some restrictions. Its fundamental evidence, private sectors. Because there are strict rules as well as its implication.
For instance
,
2018
Correct article usage
a 2018
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 survey showed that 2 times surgical operations more successful in commercial hospitals than
government
Change preposition
in government
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.
Moreover
, there is political influence in
private
Add an article
the private
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 sector as compared to public
institutes
.
In addition
 to
this
 commercial hubs generate high revenue.
For example
, in Denmark car accidents rate increased by 20% but every victim had
license
Add an article
a license
the license
show examples
.
Then
government
 privatize the license giving department
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 got the reports of corruption,
then
 within two
years
Add a comma
,years
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 results
was
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were
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 changed.
On the other hand
 for general public privatisation is more sound like the rising up cost. As
a evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
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 in 2017 Nepal's providence gave the authority of
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
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 department to
private
Add an article
a private
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 firm.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
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result
Add a comma
,result
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 public had to
faced
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face
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 high bill's. To conclude
government
 should privatize the white elephant sector of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. So may these
institutes
 could generate decent mark up too, but basic facilities like hospital, education, and security should be provided by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. So everything should
goes
Change the verb form
go
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 in the interest of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Submitted by mharis083 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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