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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves by their own.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
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Whether
children
Use synonyms
 should be urged to spend their free time in team works or they do things by themselves has been a debatable topic for a long period.
However
Linking Words
, from my standpoint, it is more beneficial if kids are encouraged by parents to engage in groups rather than occupying themselves
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. On the one hand, we must encourage
children
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involving
Change the verb form
to be involve
show examples
 more of their time in group activities. Many specialist
advocate
Change to a plural noun
advocates
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 that the best way that juveniles
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 skills which are essential for their future career is letting them interacting each other.
For instance
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, empirical research
pointout
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point out
points out
 that the
cognetive
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cognitive
 skills among the
children
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those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who are in teams are much higher than those who are not.
Nevetheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, parents should make sure that
children
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 are not isolated. Encouraging them to work in isolation some times leads to alienation which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, studies show that
adolesent
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adolescent
, those who tend to occupy alone, are less likely to develop relevant knowledge and attitudes which are often demanded by the
labor
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labour
show examples
 market. To conclude, it is important to motivate the
children
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 to engage in team activities
,
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apply
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 and discourage doing things
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own.
Submitted by rohana.cmp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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