Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
leading
Correct article usage
a leading

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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trend amongst youngsters to communicate with each other. it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helpful for those who want to explore their talent through online platforms.
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
,instance

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for instance. Consider adding a comma.

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tik tok is famous in all most all
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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age groups but
specially
Replace the word
especially

The word specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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in adults where individuals perform and upload their content on social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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would like to suggest that sharing
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on online platforms can be
serious
Add an article
a serious

The noun phrase serious issue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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issue in case of
data
Add an article
a data
the data

The noun phrase data breach seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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breach. `user should avoid sharing sensitive
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on online sites which is connected to millions of users. it is considered
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
Correct your spelling
a

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as
Correct your spelling
a
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violation
Add an article
a violation

The noun phrase violation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of rights in many countries around the globe to share personal
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without user consent.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

punishable under
law
Correct article usage
the law

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of land.
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
,example

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for example. Consider adding a comma.

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money frauds are commonly seen in
new
Add an article
the new
a new

The noun phrase new world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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world and by stealing crucial
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from users account, definitely, the benefits of social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

platform are more than disadvantages because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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importance in today's world. people use different types of application like
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp

The word whatsapp is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

,
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook

It appears that the word facebook may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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,
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram

It appears that the word instagram may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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etc which is connecting different
ethinic
Correct your spelling
ethnic

The word ethinic is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

people with other countries. globalisation helped
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot

The word alot is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to reach out
those
Change preposition
to those

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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who are still under-
privelaged
Correct your spelling
privileged

The word privelaged is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and suffering from poverty. it has improved connectivity and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provided
ground
Add an article
a ground
the ground

The noun phrase ground report seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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report in certain situation. it is a gift to mankind but with exception of fair and ethical use. in today's world interaction is important for everything like for
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business

The word bussiness is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

or colleagues.
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
am in the opinion that it is quite useful to have social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

platforms and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps us to raise voice against injustice if needed. A famous person said injustice anywhere is
threat
Add an article
a threat

The noun phrase threat seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to justice
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
Correct your spelling
everywhere

The word everwhere doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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everwhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: