Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion?

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People
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think that
violence
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on television and in computer games has a negative impact on
the
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apply
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society. Others argue that these factors do not have any significant
effect
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on
people
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’s
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. It is indisputable that many crimes are caused by the
violence
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gamers and many
people
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blame it on the
media
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.
However
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, there are some factors showing that
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violence
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violent
show examples
media
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are not harmful as many
people
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think. It is a tendency to believe that
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violence
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violent
show examples
media
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such
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as action movies or
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violence
Replace the word
violent
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game can influence
people
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’s
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Many crime news reports about the
people
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who committed
crime
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a crime
the crime
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are
the
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apply
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gamer addicts.
Therefore
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,
people
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blamed
on
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apply
show examples
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violence
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violent
show examples
media
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as the main factor that brings the quality of society down.
For example
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, some children are forbidden to play any
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violence
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violent
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games by their parents because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
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believes that these games will enhance the aggressive
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behavior
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behaviour
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of their child.
In contrast
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, there are many reasons
argue
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to argue
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about
this
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problem.
Firstly
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, the psychologists confirm that
the
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apply
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violence
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violent
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media
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do not
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Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
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affect
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to
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apply
show examples
people
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
unless they have
the
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apply
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addiction problems.
Secondly
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, any
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violence
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violent
show examples
media
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would not harm the children if they are under supervised by their parents or guardians; thereby, they can learn about the negative
effect
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from
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of
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these
media
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and adapt
into
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to
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their
behaviors
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behaviours
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as an anti-
violence
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person.
Hence
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,
people
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should pay attention
on
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to
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these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
media
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consumption and use it wisely
instead
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of banning these
media
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. In conclusion, there are several pros and cons of these
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violence
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violent
show examples
media
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. I believe that it has no damaging
effect
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on
the
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apply
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society if
people
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have critical thinking while they consume it.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Desensitization
  • Normalization
  • Psychological impact
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Parental control
  • Moderating
  • Fictional vs. real-world violence
  • Counterarguments
  • Correlation
  • Environmental influences
  • Social messages
  • Stress relief
  • Safe outlet
What to do next:
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