Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #people’s #behaviour

People

think that

violence

on television and in computer games has a negative impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Others argue that these factors do not have any significant

effect

people

’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. It is indisputable that many crimes are caused by the

violence

gamers and many

people

blame it on the

media

However

, there are some factors showing that

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

are not harmful as many

people

think. It is a tendency to believe that

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

such

as action movies or

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

game can influence

people

’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Many crime news reports about the

people

who committed

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gamer addicts.

Therefore

people

blamed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

as the main factor that brings the quality of society down.

For example

, some children are forbidden to play any

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

games by their parents because

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

believes that these games will enhance the aggressive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of their child.

In contrast

, there are many reasons

argue

Fix the infinitive

to argue

show examples

about

this

problem.

Firstly

, the psychologists confirm that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

do not

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

unless they have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

addiction problems.

Secondly

, any

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

would not harm the children if they are under supervised by their parents or guardians; thereby, they can learn about the negative

effect

from

Change preposition

show examples

these

media

and adapt

into

Change preposition

show examples

their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

as an anti-

violence

person.

Hence

people

should pay attention

Change the preposition

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

media

consumption and use it wisely

instead

of banning these

media

. In conclusion, there are several pros and cons of these

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

media

. I believe that it has no damaging

effect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society if

people

have critical thinking while they consume it.

Submitted by noppapat_k on Tue Apr 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Aggressive behavior
Desensitization
Normalization
Psychological impact
Fear and anxiety
Parental control
Moderating
Fictional vs. real-world violence
Counterarguments
Correlation
Environmental influences
Social messages
Stress relief
Safe outlet

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Your workplace requires an interpreter to translate from one language to another during meetings. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •recommend someone to act as an interpreter; •explain why the person is qualified for that role; •say how the person can be contacted.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion