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Writing Samples
Band 5

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #delinquency #fact #work #home #care #children
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Over the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, women empowerment and employment plays an indispensable role in different sphere of society. It has been believed that teenagers are indulging
into
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in
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 a wrong path
such
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 as juvenile delinquency due to the lack of supervision of their parents.
However
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, I partially agree with
this
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 statement as they may get
involve
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involved
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 in a bad company whereas, availability of creches provides
a
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apply
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proper care and attention as mothers do.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
the
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apply
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arguments in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the predominant reason behind the increasing number of crimes to be done by
child
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the child
a child
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 is because of lack of love and affection given by
upbringers
Correct your spelling
upbringings
up bringers
. Nowadays, in
this
Linking Words
 inflationary era, both parents are working in order to get both ends meet which
further
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 creates no
time
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 left to
be spend
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spend
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 with their children. Due to
this
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, adolescents spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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home
Add an article
the home
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 alone and prefer to watch television all the
time
Use synonyms
 which lures them to perform wrong tasks or come in contact with the individuals of bad companies. To epitomize, according to a survey, it has been found that many students have attempted immoral activities owing to show courage to their mates. On the paradoxical side, in the bygone era, there was not any availability of child-care centres in the country which forced the women to leave their jobs after giving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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birth to their young ones and give all of their
time
Use synonyms
 to them. Alternatively, in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, there are a plethora of nurseries available for young people to spend
time
Use synonyms
 there, in the absence of their elders. These facilities are beneficial for the individuals as it comes with an affordable cost with commendable care to the juveniles and
guide
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guides
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 them the consequences of getting into the wrong company. To exemplify, according to
a
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apply
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research by a leading newspaper, it has been estimated that
number
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the number
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 of creches has been increased to 30%
from
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in
show examples
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last
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the last
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 five years, due to the high demand
of
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for
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 child-care facilities in India. To recapitulate,
although
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, presently, there is an availability of
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 number of
nurseriesin
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nurseries in
nurseries
 the society, while, I personally opine that upbringing of youngsters is affected due to the absence of mother and father and
also
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,
child
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the child
a child
show examples
 may get involved in minor crimes which would be detrimental in long run.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
What to do next:
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