IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
salary
Use synonyms
 plays an integral part when choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 . while
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 accept that some
people
Use synonyms
 choose
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 based on their pay rate but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that one can look into
another aspects
Replace the adjective
another aspect
other aspects
show examples
 too when
choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
 their
job
Use synonyms
. on the one hand , there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of reasons that
people
Use synonyms
 choose
salary
Use synonyms
 as a crucial factor of consideration.
People
Use synonyms
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 pay rate to meet their requirements because
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 leads to
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 standard of living.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, with
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 package of
money
Add a comma
,money
show examples
 one can afford whatever they want as well as provide their
loves
Replace the word
loved
show examples
 ones or children
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
 better standard of living. Even though ,
people
Use synonyms
 who receive high rates of
salary
Use synonyms
 are considered as
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 person in the company .
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 set their amount of wage according to their
work
Use synonyms
 hours and level of the company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 considering
other factor
Change the wording
another factor
other factors
show examples
 than
salary
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as working
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 as well as
location
Add an article
the location
a location
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 prefer freedom and outdoor activities. in fact , some
people
Use synonyms
 do not like to sit for
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 hours in
infront
Correct your spelling
front
 of
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 or
people
Use synonyms
 do not like
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 someone always
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 on their heads and wants to
work
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
own
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
 their own. Even though , some
people
Use synonyms
 like to
work
Use synonyms
 for
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 contribution .
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to choose local organisations than working in big companies because they want
somechanges
Correct your spelling
some changes
 in small cities . Even some of my friends choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in rural areas rather
in
Change preposition
than in
show examples
 developed countries. They receive
tiny
Add an article
a tiny
show examples
 amount of money but they are happy with their choices because they think they are doing something for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. To conclude, it is certainly true that the
salary
Use synonyms
 is important in
job
Use synonyms
 selection for many
people
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 is not the key consideration for everybody in making a career decision.
Submitted by kuldeepmalaudh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: