IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The importance of academic subjects as compared to exrracurricular activities is increasing every day.Some people suggest that sports calsses should be sacrificed in high school so students can cincentrate on academic demic subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary era,there is a heated argument at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 level,which is most imperative in school life
academic
Punctuation problem
, academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 or
extracurrcular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
activities
Use synonyms
 like
sports
Use synonyms
 classes .
Whereas
Linking Words
,some
mights
Correct your spelling
might
 of society deem that
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 ought to be
remove
Wrong verb form
removed
show examples
 from high school and
total
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
focus
on
Rephrase
totally on
show examples
 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
.I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.I will shed
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some light on it in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. To commence with,there are numerous
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why I do not agree to sacrifice
sports
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high school.First and foremost,in the modern era,competition is very stiff
if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 extra
activities
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
remove
Wrong verb form
removed
show examples
 from
Correct your spelling
school
schos
Punctuation problem
schos,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 people will not give their best in other important
subjects
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
us
Use the right word
is
show examples
 because all day only study academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 will
tired
Correct word choice
be tiring
show examples
.
There
Use the right word
Their
show examples
 mind ,which will reduce
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 learning ability
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 if
schools
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
introduce
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
Use synonyms
activities
Punctuation problem
activities,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 pupils can get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to rejuvenate their mind
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 after interbal from academic
Use synonyms
subjects
Punctuation problem
subjects,
show examples
 they can easily concentrate on
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
these necessary
subjects
Use synonyms
. Moving
further
Linking Words
,nowadays childerns face many health issues like obesity ,eye problems and so on.so ut is mandatory for government should not remove these extracurricular from behind they authority ought to be introduce new physical
games
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
,which help them to live nale and nearly life and mentors should
also
Linking Words
 be encouraged to students to participate in these game,
as well as
Linking Words
 they need to tell about the importance of
games
Use synonyms
 in their daily life.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,in the modern era number of
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
heild
Correct your spelling
held
 at every level,so if these
activities
Use synonyms
 are in
Use synonyms
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 some
youngstera
Correct your spelling
young people
 can choose these
games
Use synonyms
 for their career. Hammering the
last
Linking Words
 nail,it can be said that
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 are equally important to academic
subjects
Use synonyms
,so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should not be removed from
schools
Use synonyms
.

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planning
Plan your essay. Write one main idea for each part. Start with a clear view in the first sentence. Then add two reasons and finish with a short end.
structure
Use small link words to show cause and effect. Use words like because, so, but, also, first, next, finally.
organization
Make each paragraph a single idea. Do not mix ideas in one part. Use a simple sentence for each idea.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use the 's' in third person and basic verb forms.
content
Use examples that are easy to see and fit the idea. Keep them short and real.
strength
The essay shows the writer’s view that sports should stay in school.
strength
Some good points on health and balance in life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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