IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

#people #drinks #drink #consumption
In
this
 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the issue that sugar-based beverages consumption is increasing. We can explain that problem for some reasons, and there are several solutions to deal with it. There are many reasons for consuming more and more sugary drink nowadays. In fact, soft
drinks
 are appropriate to inhabitants’ taste especially children and youngsters since they taste delicious and people can drink those whenever they want
instead
 of other beverages.
For example
,
although
 water is the best choice for drinking, it is tasteless, and wine cannot be drunk by everyone especially when there is no important event.
Besides
, marketing is the principal reason for the rapid rise of sugary
drinks
. To be more detailed, many sugar-based
drinks
 companies have invested in many advertisements which have no scene of consequences of consuming those
drinks
 and encourage people to enjoy the ones they like to sell as many as they can. To stop the rise of that problem, there are two ways that would be effective.
Firstly
, the governments should raise taxes on the sale of sugar-based
drinks
. By
this
, many companies have to reduce the number of
drinks
 produced, and consumers would choose others especially water which is much cheaper and better for their health.
Moreover
, many healthcare awareness campaigns should be taken on TV shows or in schools to inform residents about many diseases caused by sugary
drinks
such
 as obesity, diabetes and certain types of cancer and encourage them to reduce the consumption of sugary
drinks
 as much as they can.
For example
, the campaign can show some practical examples of how soft
drinks
 impact negatively the body to raise more attention of people. In conclusion, despite the rise of sugar-based
drinks
, many solutions can be carried out to solve that trend.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: