Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is no doubt true that global development makes the competitive world higher.
This
is why the graduated student has difficulty in obtaining desirable employment. It is frequently asserted that
graduates
should learn a
second
degree. It seems to me that getting a
job
is better than continue the study path.
Firstly
, it appears to be that they will have more experience of working and chance.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
satisfied
job
may be an opportunity for their apprenticeship after leaving university. In
this
stage, they are able to absorb a wide range of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real knowledge as well as foster themselves to be more judicious.
As a result
,
graduates
will have
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
of promotion or have a good
job
with a handsome salary in the future.
Secondly
, it is a fact that their career path is able to develop.
This
is due to the fact that working not only they will achieve the knowledge, skills but
also
they will broaden their social circle and cultivate team spirit, cooperation. Those advantages assist them to open their own business. It is easy to manage and administer
the
Change the word
your
show examples
own business.
As a result
, they may be more successful by themselves.
Finally
, it is sure that the graduated student who gets an occupation will be more self-reliant. Because of the fact that they earn an income, and pay for their expenditure, utility bills.
Moreover
, they may make a payment for the course if they have a real desire to study
further
.
Therefore
, they will be more mature and independent. Of course, those who say that the
second
degree is possible to raise their profile and salary are quite correct. Despite
this
, it is inevitable that some
graduates
have no interest to learn
further
or their financial concerns. Overall, I believe that taking a
job
which is not the desirable
graduates
is not
also
a detrimental choice. As long as they make an effort and industrious, they will be successful with a high salary
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a few years later.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: