Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#graduates #work #field #second #job #interest

It is no doubt true that global development makes the competitive world higher.

This

is why the graduated student has difficulty in obtaining desirable employment. It is frequently asserted that

graduates

should learn a

second

degree. It seems to me that getting a

job

is better than continue the study path.

Firstly

, it appears to be that they will have more experience of working and chance.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

show examples

satisfied

job

may be an opportunity for their apprenticeship after leaving university. In

this

stage, they are able to absorb a wide range of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real knowledge as well as foster themselves to be more judicious.

As a result

graduates

will have

chance

Add an article

a chance

the chance

show examples

of promotion or have a good

job

with a handsome salary in the future.

Secondly

, it is a fact that their career path is able to develop.

This

is due to the fact that working not only they will achieve the knowledge, skills but

also

they will broaden their social circle and cultivate team spirit, cooperation. Those advantages assist them to open their own business. It is easy to manage and administer

the

Change the word

your

show examples

own business.

As a result

, they may be more successful by themselves.

Finally

, it is sure that the graduated student who gets an occupation will be more self-reliant. Because of the fact that they earn an income, and pay for their expenditure, utility bills.

Moreover

, they may make a payment for the course if they have a real desire to study

further

Therefore

, they will be more mature and independent. Of course, those who say that the

second

degree is possible to raise their profile and salary are quite correct. Despite

this

, it is inevitable that some

graduates

have no interest to learn

further

or their financial concerns. Overall, I believe that taking a

job

which is not the desirable

graduates

is not

also

a detrimental choice. As long as they make an effort and industrious, they will be successful with a high salary

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a few years later.

Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on Fri Jun 11 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?