Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health

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It is obvious that technology has taken a predominant role in society and its dominance over the entertainment industry is undeniable. Some intellectuals opine that the exorbitant exploitations of TVs and video

games

Use synonyms

have the potential to sabotage the adolescent's psychological capabilities. From my perspective, I agree with the aforementioned opinion and my supporting arguments will be given

further

Linking Words

To begin

Linking Words

, some offensive

games

Use synonyms

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

programs could result in children becoming more short-tempered and less

socialise

Wrong verb form

socialising

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, resulting in the degradation of mental stability. Many

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

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create certain virtual tasks

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which players have to accomplish and failing to complete said task could lead to them being in a state of depression and rage.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the competitive aspect of many video

games

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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often really high and losing those

games

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has the potential to cause an outburst of anger.

Furthermore

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, being addicted to TV and video

games

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is a path to a more sedentary lifestyle, which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in them being less physically active.

As a result

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, multiple health issues could be at play like obesity and might obstruct their all-around development.

In addition

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, with the rise of professional esports, many young adults have the delusion that they could make it on the pro scene.

Hence

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a decrease in attention to other essential aspects of life like education is ignored,

therefore

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affecting their future significantly. In conclusion, the miss utilization of technology could lead to a degradation in both mental and physical health. Parents and teachers should play a role in educating

the

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apply

show examples

youngsters,

guiding

Correct word choice

and guiding

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them to avoid the harmful effects of addiction.

Submitted by vietnn05 on Sun Jun 20 2021

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples to support the argument. However, there are areas that need improvement in order to fully address the task.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there are instances of illogical progression in the development of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more clearly connected to the main body of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Some people argue that exams put too much pressure on university students, but others think that dealing with pressure is an essential skill to develop before people begin employment. Discuss both sides of the argument and present your opinion.

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.