IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#pollution #rivers #lakes #seas #concern #people #environment #water #effects #life #society
Nowadays,
Pollution
 has
becoming
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 a major concern across the globe and
water
pollution
 is
one
 of the biggest
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 for
enviournment
Correct your spelling
environment
protecter
Correct your spelling
protector
 as well as for citizens.In
this
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
eassy
Add a comma
,eassy
show examples
 you can identify the reasons behind
water
pollution
 and how they
Replace the word
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 human and animal life in a negative way. To start with the reasons, Indrustlization has
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role to play in
water
 contamination. Most of the industries,especially in underdeveloped and developing countries,
realse
Correct your spelling
realise
 their
harmfum
Correct your spelling
harmful
 chemicals and industrial waste in rivers and lakes without purifying them which can be
one
 of the main
hazard
Change to a plural noun
hazards
show examples
 to pure
water
.
Secondly
,
Human made
Add a hyphen
Human-made
show examples
 waste near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
water
 sources,
such
 as popular tourist places, may lead to fouling of
water
. According to
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
 conducted by
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 health organization in 2016,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
 part of
water
pollution
 is due to man-made wastes
such
 as plastic bottles, unwanted packets of food and many more.
As a result
 of
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
 human life
as well as animal life
Add the comma(s)
, as well as animal life,
show examples
 are
indangour
Correct your spelling
endanger
.
Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
 of hazardous content in
water
 may reduce the breathable oxygen in the
water
, in turn, it is really hard for many
water
 creatures to survive and they are now on a line of
extictions
Correct your spelling
extinctions
extinction
.Apart from
this
, only
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
 of
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 on the earth is drinkable. Due to our mistakes, even we are making that small amount of
water
 polluted which may lead to
water
 shortages in future. Not only
this
, animals and
underprivlleged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
 segments of people
also
 use river and lake
water
 to drink
as a result
 they might suffer from diseases
such
 as
diyeria
Correct your spelling
Nigeria
, food
poision
Correct your spelling
poison
 and so on.
Moreover
, agriculture
also
 impacted heavily due to toxic
water
. All in all, development in the world of
indutries
Correct your spelling
industries
 and humans are the reason behind the
water
pollution
 and
as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
result animals and even humans are
sufferd
Correct your spelling
suffered
 in various ways
such
 as diseases, shortages of
water
 and poor agriculture.
Submitted by patelavani1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contamination
  • industrial discharge
  • untreated sewage
  • agricultural runoff
  • pesticides
  • oil spills
  • microplastics
  • eutrophication
  • algal blooms
  • marine dumping
  • bioaccumulation
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • public health
  • waterborne diseases
  • fishing industry
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • waste management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: